Smile, You Are Not Alone

 The pandemic has put a lot of things into perspective for me and many other people - it has given me a lot of time to think about my struggles (both past and present). I hope that this can give bring comfort to someone and show them that they are not alone.

Life can throw you into the deepest and darkest of pits and it might seem like there is no light and the end of the tunnel. But, there is always a way, as cliche as that might sound.

Recently, l went through a rough patch, financially. A tough time financially can take a huge emotional toil on a person - speaking from experience. When all the bills pile up, it is very difficult not to feel isolated.

I tried my hardest to find a job and find ways of earning extra income. The debilitating part was the continuous rejection. Imagine, religiously sending out your resume every single day but absolutely no response besides the usual , " We will keep your resume on file."

One of my attempts was to sell the furniture in the house. It worked for a few months and we were able to get by. But, eventually the number of customers began to dwindle.

The 'judgy' looks from family members and 'friends' did not make anything better. To some extent, l actually felt as though they wanted me to fail. It took such a rough toll on me and at some point, l began believing their lies - that l was a "failure" and that l "was not capable of achieving anything", these are actual words used against me by people regarded as my family.

But, the human spirit inside of us is strong. When you gain the courage and strength to take yourself out of such a dark mindset and stop believing the negative-talk, then you will slowly begin to rise up out of the stupor.

There were definitely days when l struggled to get out of bed. Instead, I had to dig deep within my self to get that willpower to rise up, for both my husband and my children.

There is no quick-fix but it is a process and l had to allow myself to process everything at my own pace, with the support of my husband and children. Sometimes we look for a quick-fix and yet, all we just need is to go through the motion in order to map a way forward.

-🦋